What will land for me? I have no idea what to write. Have not thought about writing (more than my diary) in nearly two years (!) I have lived fully. Read a novel about domination and color and ‘ohana. Listening daily to news-comedy, now there is nothing left to laugh about. I felt the exuberant … Continue reading Transformation
2020 has been the first year in my conscious memory that has felt integrated, like it was actually formed out of one piece, unfolding in one unbroken arc from January to December, one life event building on another. When I’ve looked back on other years, they have usually felt somewhat erratic, eventful yet passing quickly, … Continue reading New Year 2021
# HOME LOSS CHANGE You might say that your life feelslike unspun woolright now. Matted and coarseon the surfacefrom where the creature that gave it formsweated and laboredand rolled in the dirtand got caughton brambles and thorns.It smells alive, your life, of bloodsweat tearsmilkshit.Each smell itself rugged,not pleasing.But all swirled together,one sweeter, earthy scent is … Continue reading Your Life Like Unspun Wool
# HOME LOSS CHANGE That’s the public service announcement. Social. Distancing. A contradiction in terms that now makes sense. The most caring thing we can do is leave each other alone. Doctors are not optimistic that it will last. Six months into the pandemic, even those that did care about others’ safety (shockingly, in this … Continue reading ALONE. TOGETHER.
# HOME LOSS CHANGE I wrote this poem a couple months ago, in COVID quarantine in Nepal. Paradoxically, when I had the fewest options, the least freedom of movement, the greatest disappointment for the dreams that couldn't come true - it ignited a fierce energy in me to focus on my long-term visions all the … Continue reading Give me your visions
I left Nepal six weeks ago. Returning to a United States marked by Black Lives Matter protests, police violence, and COVID spreading nearly unchecked in many states. I've been digesting all this collective pain and uncertainty before the backdrop of personal loss and change. Looking back on the poems I wrote in April and May … Continue reading HOME ⬤ LOSS ⬤ CHANGE
How our international volunteer camp and rural Nepali neighbors are going through COVID-19 lockdown together. "I wanted to keep supporting CI, no matter what some of my neighbors said." I'm sitting on the porch outside our kitchen with Parvati, our beloved cook, neighbor, and self-declared surrogate mother to all 17 of us Conscious Impact (CI) … Continue reading Community in times of Corona
I've been at Conscious Impact camp for exactly two months now. Three weeks longer than planned already. By now, I was supposed to be back at work in Seattle, after visiting friends and family in Europe and introducing who I thought was my life partner to my parents. Everything is different now. Disease beset the … Continue reading Creation or manifestation?
Looking back on my first days in Nepal The descent unto Kathmandu Airport is steep and swift and puts a lurch in my stomach. Being in such a mountainous landscape, this is one of the world's shorter runways. A "VISIT NEPAL 2020" poster greets us as we enter the airport building. But that tourism marketing … Continue reading Kathmandu
Living at Conscious Impact camp Everything is dusty. Always. I sweep, leaves fall, wind blows. More dust. My skin is dry. Waning supply of moisturizer brought from home cannot keep pace with Nepali sun and soil and cob and lime. Desiccating my skin, cutting my feet and fingers. Photo by Jonathan H. Lee/subtledream.com This place … Continue reading Soil and Community